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📚 How to Talk to Your Cat About Gun Safety

And Abstinence, Drugs, Satanism, and Other Dangers That Threaten Their Nine Lives

😼 Because being a responsible cat parent isn’t just about litter boxes and tuna.

🐾 Is Your Cat Ready for the Real World?

From the moment your kitten is old enough to leave the box, they're exposed to a dangerous world full of temptations—and threats. This essential handbook will help you have the difficult but necessary conversations every cat owner dreads… so you can keep your feline friend safe, pure, and on the right path. 💥

📘 Why You’ll Love It:

✅ Hilarious & Satirical: A laugh-out-loud parody that mimics the tone of serious self-help books—with absurd advice on how to protect your cat from drugs, peer pressure, and the occult.

✅ Perfect Gift for Cat Lovers: Know someone who loves cats and a good sense of humor? This book is their new favorite thing. Great for birthdays, holidays, white elephant gifts, or just because. 🎁

✅ Conversation Starter: Leave it on your coffee table or gift it to your vet—either way, it’s going to get people talking.

✅ High-Quality Paperback: 120+ pages of tongue-in-cheek wisdom, printed on durable paper with a glossy cover that stands up to cat claws (probably).

✅ Genuinely Useful? Maybe not. Entertaining? Absolutely.

📦 Product Details:

• Format: Paperback

• Language: English

• Pages: Approx. 144

• Dimensions: 5.5 x 8.5 inches

• ISBN: ✅ (if you have one, insert here)

• Printed in: USA 🇺🇸

🐈‍⬛ Topics Covered:

• Talking to your cat about gun safety 🔫

• The dangers of feline premarital sex 💔

• How to spot signs of catnip abuse 🍃

• Preventing occult involvement 🕯️

• Why your cat needs moral guidance too 😇

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